Can Purell be used as lube?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
