I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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