i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
