This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
