I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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