yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize
