when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
