Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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