can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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