life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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