He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
