I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
