I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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