margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
