Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I am in a vortex of obligation.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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