I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
