Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
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