He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
