he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
