just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
