my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
