I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?