Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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