Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize