there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
