dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
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And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
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So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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