I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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