so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
