When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
