Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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