So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
