That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
