the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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