yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Your penis caused this!
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