Yo dont text me then not text me
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
The power of my boobs compel you
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
