It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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