I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
