the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you didnt know i had herpes?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
