He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
