i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
