3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
