my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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