Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
