VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
