Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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