Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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