The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
well, you know. whores of a feather.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
