1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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