So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
When are your genitals available?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
