You can't special order awesome
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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