I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
