What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
