Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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