I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
lol hangovers are for mortals.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
