Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
