Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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