It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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