When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
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