covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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