Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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