Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
